how to lose all your friends in 10 days
00:27
(updated daily, for 10 days)
Depending on your situation,
this can be taken ironically or unironically...
Welcome to an essential how-to to anyone seeking self-destruction
Day 1:
Acquire a heart of steel -
No longer have empathy for all the people you care, nay,
used to care abouut.
Oh man, think of all the joy you'll experience not having to deal with complaints and rants your friend would share/burden you with hahahahah
Oh man, think of all the joy you'll experience not having to deal with complaints and rants your friend would share/burden you with hahahahah
No longer do you need to spare a thought and think if what you're doing will hurt their feelings. Better yet, know that it'll hurt their feelings and do whatever it is you want to do --
like not replying to their seemingly urgent texts although you actually have so much spare time on your hands. Deliberately like their photos on social media too!
That is sure to break their hearts because you have such a heightened sense of sensitivity and people always said, "Treat others the way you want to be treated."
and since this is something you hate,
they must really hate it too.
this is a really good trick except you might still end up feeling horrible,
especially when your friends reach out to you
and that old saying keeps ringing in your head.
also, they might not even feel a thing if you pull this on them cuz
they're perfectly fine with it,
i mean they must be,
since they do it to you all the time!
Day 2:
Exit chat groups -
Yes, a clear passive aggressive manner to easily communicate to your ex-group-of-friends that you guys are no longer friends.
Since you all don't even meet each other,
most communication is kept strictly on social media platforms/messaging apps so,
welcome to the best way of burning bridges in the digital age woo!
If you are reallllllyyyyy passive aggressive and are set on severing ties,
block them from your private instagram account! Cuz somehow numbers and following these days are the epitome of friendship.
Some may say it is immature and purely done just for attention but hey,
isn't that the equivalent of what we do anyways? -
posting about our daily lives casually on our private Instagrams,
seemingly updating a few close friends,
pretending we are even still close friends
without having spoken a single word to each other for weeks.
Because if that's how friendships work in today's definition,
I want no part in it.
Day 3:
Be an outright dick -
Disregard them as a friend and make no effort to speak/meet up with them.
Write a passive aggressive blog post titled:
how to lose all your friends in 10 days
Try to forget them.
Delete old photos.
Not wish them 'happy birthday' on their birthday.
Ignore them when you see them around.
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