I rediscovered The Office this week. I kept hearing about the show here and there on YouTube and decided to watch it a while back and completed season 1 but lost interest in it??? Started watching season 2 a few days ago and I WAS OBSESSED. I was laughing (really disgustingly might I add) at every episode and I love the small arcs each character has. I like how it's slightly anthological so you won't have the burden of committing to it and have to watch it in an entire stretch, yet every episode is only 22 minutes short, making it more forgiving on yourself if you binge watch. Plus, the fact that every episode doesn't end on an over-dramatic cliffhanger scene is a bonus and makes it so much less exhausting to watch. 

I just finished The Merger episode on season 3 and so far I haven't been enjoying season as much as I had for season 2 but hey let's see where this Pam and Jim relationship goes (although I've already caught some inevitable spoilers of them dating/getting married considering the series ended 4 years ago) 

I would say my favourite characters would be Michael Scott, Jim Halpert, and Toby. 

I mean Michael is so eccentric but he is completely honest. He explicitly shows his insecurities in ways that are mostly cringey which makes it very entertaining. But no matter how much of an asshole he is, you can relate to his social-awkwardness in an ironically extroverted manner AND HE IS VERY VERY FUNNY. 

Jim is just so goddamn charismatic. The typical kind of guy you'd fall in love with in an office and I love his pranks and all.

I would say Toby is the character I relate to the most, I mean his expressions tho. Extremely empathetic and nice and very very sad and socially introverted deep down. I couldn't stop laughing at the scene where he gives a bro fist to Jim when he returns from the Stamford branch and apologises when Jim was like, "oh, is this a new thing?" Just completely self-conscious and embarrassed by himself, then sinks back into his seat. Me af. 

2. B.J. Novak

So speaking of The Office, he plays Ryan Howard...BUT MORE IMPRESSINGLY HE'S ALSO THE WRITER AND A PRODUCER BEHIND THE SHOW. He also studied Literature in Harvard, wrote 2 NYTimes #1 Bestselling books, including a children's book called A Book with no Pictures, co-created the Li.st app which is an app for people to share lists of anything — what they ate for the day, favourite books, or yknow for more intellectual people - thoughts while scrolling through Instagram. Though not popular, I find it to be a very interesting way of sharing online!!! I don't know, I just feel like I idolise him so much, I feel like his accomplishments are ones I want for myself in the future.

3. Math and also what the fuck am I doing with my life

I feel like I knew what I wanted to be in the future for a few years now. No matter how much I try to convince myself I actually like science, I don't. Deep within me, I know that my interests are geared towards film and writing, narratives related things. This thought has bugged me for quite a few months now: I shouldn't have chosen JC. I know, I know, everyone loves to joke about dropping out of JC but I feel like most of them say that as a sweeping statement because the curriculum gets difficult and rather intense and I can't help but think that it stems from laziness. I mean, I'm no exception but I know that for me, it stems from complete disinterest in what I'm studying and an existing passion in something else. I also want to add I have never seriously considered dropping out have joked about it because it's well a. unrealistic and b. irresponsible as hell. I mean, since I have decided to take on this path, I'd have to complete it no matter how tough it gets. I'm also aware of lots of 'success stories' on dropping out of JC but I don't know man, I just don't really see myself steering towards a different direction right now, considering how my parents would be disapproving and disappointed. Would I have changed my mind and went to study Film in Poly if I had known this would happen..? Highly likely, actually, because at that point there was nothing to lose. But now, there are quite a lot at stake. To be honest, I only chose JC because I had scored decent-average results that could enrol me into an equally decent-average JC that was near my house as compared to a Poly that takes me 2 hours to travel there. And yes, I do think that going to JC is more prestigious, I mean let's be real lol but well, this is what you get in JC. Also, when I enrolled, I was also afraid to take up a hybrid/arts stream due to the supposed impracticality of it but in hindsight I can't really say I regret because I would've taken GELM and I know H2 Literature and H2 Geography would be so difficult to study but thinking about it, Bio and Chem aren't that much better, just that they're more accept-the-facts sort of thing- OMG YOU KNOW WHAT THE MORE I THINK ABOUT IT THE MORE I THINK I SHOULD HAVE JUST TAKEN ARTS STREAM BC studying both science and arts would be difficult but GELM would actually be more interesting. But okay, I shall give myself the benefit of the doubt and convince myself I'm just romanticising arts stream. I absolutely hate how Math is a compulsory subject I mean what the fuck. I was doing my mye revision package on vectors and I genuinely wanted to kms. I know that I'm ungifted in countless aspects of life, but I'm ungifted in math on a whole new level. Sigh sigh sigh. Anyways my senior was right, JC truly allows you to discover yourself more especially showing you what you like/dislike and sheds light on what you truly would want to pursue in the future. Hopefully this shall be a good lesson for myself to make decisions based on my intuition and heart rather than fear. 

4. WTF EMOTIONS 

Back to my old ways, I skipped my math exam..... definitely not proud but ashshjdkdl. Also, I've become a very very skeptical person when getting to know people; I find overly nice people fake and slightly cold people overly mean. I just feel like everything is so ingenuine and there are only a handful of people I can trust. And honestly even the ones I can trust, it still feels like there's a distance and a wall between us that was never there before. I hate this because I feel like my own mental barrier is preventing from truly getting to know some good people. Idk. But I would say, I feel less strongly about things now. I mean idk if that's a good or bad thing really, but it's been easier. Or maybe I'm just suppressing all my emotions, awaiting my inevitable implosion. *insert inverted smiley face* 

It seems we're both trying to reach the same point,

but we keep missing each other.

Wrong place, wrong time,

two worlds apart.

titbits from my iPhone Notes:

4 April 2016 ―

I realised that if there was one thing I'll be remembered for in my school by my teachers

and my classmates, it would, unfortunately, be how frequently late I am.

It's kind of funny and honestly a little sad to see my friends being so used to my absence from school.

Yet little see the regret, guilt and isolation that come afterwards.

28 April 2016 ―

I'm

Happy

I

Swear

That

I

Am.

31 August 2016 ―

So this is how it goes:

You see I couldn't quite fit the mold

So you decide to let me go

And everything else that was gold

6 September 2016 ―

All the things I've thought of but have slipped my mind.

They crawl back in an intrusive fashion, all at once, and with no mercy.

Too bad it's too late to say them.

Perhaps leaving these words unsaid will be the most selfless thing I'll ever do.

19 September 2016 ―

When will you learn

That you have no more time left

That you cannot afford to screw up again

That you have no more second chances

That you will jeopardise your hopes and dreams at this rate

That you and only you can save yourself

That you have to be strong

That you cannot fall

That time waits for no one and you can't look back

That 33 is not acceptable

That 27 is not acceptable

That --- JC will only be open to the deserving ones

That you cannot give up

When will you learn

19 September 2016 ―

Turned away one too many times

and even the strongest of wills will be dejected and turn around,

just as they were asked to do

Already weak from the start,

I called out to you so many times, too many times

My heart is frail and my patience has been tested and torn apart

How long more will my naivety last me, I do not know

Do not take my kindness for granted

Do not take me for granted

For one day I'll stop giving in

and worst, I'll stop caring

30 September 2016 ―

Maybe you'll find someone like her.

She,

who watched you so intently when you laid your head down to rest,

a sight that gave her a heavy heart.

9 October 2016 ―

When you think of me, I wonder if you'll come here

and take the same path we took many moons ago

13 October 2016 ―

Stale love

It used to taste like strawberries and cream on a hot summer's day

Delightful as a child's candy

A sight as pretty as blossoms descending from above,

adding colour and joy to the dull sky

All of which has unfortunately faltered

It now feels like the bitter taste that grabs onto your tongue when you're unwell

A throbbing headache you can't stand to ignore any longer

The love I have for you has turned stale

17 October 2016 ―

Chinese wordplay

习欢 / 喜惯

勇弃 / 放气

望想 / 希妄

累水 / 泪了

(think about it..)

17 October 2016 ―

If you're lost, you're on your way

Expect difficulty

19 October 2016 ―

I'm the most insecure person I know

20 October 2016 ―

What isn't meant to be, isn't.

26 October 2016 ―

A friendship transaction

24 November 2016 ―

I just can't seem to think of anyone else.